on Monday i finally went back to Notre Dame to light candles for lost babies.
i like to wander my way to places in Paris which means that i rarely go the same way twice. the weather was a bit capricious, going from cloudy to clear, from pleasantly warm to far-too-cool for what i was wearing and back again.
as usual, there were many things to see and capture with my camera:
and Notre Dame herself was as striking as ever:
inside, i returned to the statue of Mary holding an infant Jesus, and one by one, i lit candles for eight babies. i spoke their names aloud and told them how loved and missed they are.
i also lit a candle for Sadie’s little boy.
and, finally, i lit one for my own little sun:
and the whole while, tears streamed down my face, and i gulped back sobs so that i wouldn’t frighten all the tourists who were passing by. i’m sure i made a strange sight with my bag full of tea candles and small stack of name cards… a babylost mother lighting far too many candles and whispering the names of far too many lost babies.
afterwards, i went to see my friend Nish at my favorite Indian restaurant, and he greeted me with the sunniest of smiles. Froggy and i are trying to watch our euros these days, so i went without the usual yumminess, but Nish and i sat and talked for a while and made plans to visit les Frigos together later this month.
and then i wandered my way home, snapping pictures as i went: